this is frustrating

I have been sitting with the programming books around me for days and i hate it to the core . There should be definitely I am good at something. I am not into this S?W engineer things. this is not my identity and i must have def something better than this. There got to be something in which i can do with full free heart and with great contentment in doing that thing. I have tried on music but it's not so my area. I feel alienated, it 's def not dance. It's not culinary arts, it's not to do with paintings and brushes! Jesus, what could be that thing i could die for. Give myself 100% commitment. what could be that? this is killing me and I am hating these moments all the more. I hate doing 9-5 jobs. I like animals. Has it to do with animals,photography? what has it to be. Jesus!! save me from this restlessness!!!