Why does it hurt so much??

I have loved this man so much that for days and even now, i could not cease to think about him.Quite a surreal, but I do pray that I get him back again. I wish he will love me again. It's hard, when all your efforts go waste and nothing seems possible.But it's never wrong to keep hoping. Some said that hope is for the weak.Maybe I am weak. But I need this hope to make me survive. The madness at it's height..i googled his name hoping to see his pictures online. I am successful though, I hope he comes to know how much I love him.

I should have done that
I should have ignored it
Like something I couldn’t see
I shouldn’t look at you at all

I should have run away
I should have acted like I didn’t hear it
Like something I couldn’t hear
I shouldn’t have listened to love at all

Without a word, you let me know love
Without a word, you give me love
You made me even hold of your breath but you ran away like this
Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love tossed me away

What should I say next?
My closed lips were surprised on their own
Coming without any words
Why does it hurt so much?

Why does it hurt continuously?
Except for the fact that I can’t see you anymore
And that you are not here anymore
Otherwise, it’s the same as before

Without a word, you let me know love
Without a word, you give me love
You made me even hold of your breath but you ran away like this

Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love tossed me away
What should I say next?
My closed lips were surprised on their own

Without a word, tears fall
Without a word, my heart breaks down
Without a word, I waited for love
Without a word, love hurts me

I zone out
I become a fool because I cry looking at the sky
Without a word, fire will find me
Without a word, the end comes to me

I think my heart was surprise to send you away without any preparations
It came without a word
Without a word, it comes and leavesLike the fever before, maybe all I need to do is hurt for a while

I love you!

Please mend my heart!!