Okay to cry- J.Rice

This is one of my fav numbers:


I don't know where to go from here
Cos anywhere that I go you there
So many streets, different names, but they all lead to the same lonely pain
And I don't know how to start again
Don't even know when hurt began
Its when your this low everywhere you try to go looks like a dead end
And now that everything's over

I'll cry (if I still hurt)
I'll cry (cos after I feel better)
Its to hard to keep inside, cos all the emotion I feel tonight
I'll cry (if it gets worse)
I'll cry (cos that's the only answer)
Its so hard falling out of love 
Finding yourself after you break up
Its Okay To Cry

Felt like we were on a tight rope
I lost my balance when you let go
I'll get up again, I'll fall in love again, I gotta heal my soul
And when the past brings back the pain
Don't be afraid to face the rain
Cos it'll wash away, any trace of yours today, and you'll feel okay
But after everything's over
If I still hurt

I'll cry
I'll cry
Its to hard to keep inside, cos all the emotion I feel tonight
I'll cry (if it gets worse)
I'll cry (cos that's the only answer)
Its so hard falling out of love 
Finding yourself after you break up
Its Okay To Cry


A broken heart wont stop the world from spinning
A second chance will wait for you to start living again
I maybe down but I aint out forever
I'm holding on for something so much better
But if I ever hurt

I'll cry
I'll cry
Its to hard to keep inside, cos all the emotion I feel tonight
I'll cry
I'll cry
Its so hard falling out of love 
Finding yourself after you break up
Its Okay To Cry

A letter to my so-called well wishers

Dear W3,

[I have intentionally zeroed it down to W3 , because when i think of number and alphabets ie alphanumeric characters, i can think of scams/viruses and negativity like in 2G,HV1 etc; Well W3= worried well wishers; By the way give up on H1B visa.That's a dream never come true]

so, dear W3, first of all , thanks for screwing my life more than hell. I salute you all with my middle fingers.
Your acting surpassed any Oscar-winning actors. The impact on my life due to your "self-less advice" is tsunamic. I appreciate again for destroying my dreams and shattering my hopes into zillion pieces . You have succeeded in achieving your goals. I have finally given up after your traumatization  .You had a disturbed-unhappy childhood days , how could you see me happy? Congratulations on successfully brain-washing and puppetting  the old folks. Dumb as they are forever and now blind too. Their dumb mouths and gestures to enact your pinching and plotting . Life is short . Thanks for filling it up with shits. Will my death give you all fucking peace of mind?
Hope you get roasted like a dead pig in huge bonfire with the iron rod right through your asshole to the mouth, in hell. As you get barbecued over the hot charcoal , i will have a last laugh. Only then my soul will be freed. Until then my restless soul will cry , just as you have made me wreathed and rot so much in pain and shame.
If live cannot give what I deserve, I will get it out from death.

Sincerely,
A tortured soul

Once My Hero , now my sworn enemy

Age 1-12 (toddlers)
My dad my hero
My papa strongest

Age 13- 17(adolescents)
A boring dad , not like Rahul's papa

Age 18-25 (young adults)
The other end of the poles.
Intruding
opposing
never agreeing
Hitler
Never understanding

Age25-30
You never respect my decision
I have traveled around the world more than you
My life : so i live it. Live your own dreams

Age 30-40
You won't cross my path  and vice-versa

Age 40 -50
Old man thinks weird
Old man has lost his marbles

Age 60-infinity
My dad was good.

Something fishy about this!!!

The new addition: shy and shinny 

The eye-popping super active dear

My Blackys passed away!!

If I had a choice

If I were to die a death of my choice,what would it be?
Will I love seeing myself dangling from a ceiling fan,
Dressed neately in my favorite dress.
Will I have gasped for air as the rope takes away
All my pain, all my sorrows.
Had it been better to feed myself the vile.
And I will throw up before I die,
Crunching in unbearable pain but will that pain
be more than my griefs, my sorrow.
Running before a trolley or train , may cause
Other's death too,
I will wriggling lifelessly , with blood oozing out of me
washing away all the pain.
Perhaps, to be caught in a bomb blasts
would be the best,
I will be scatterred in peices and My body
Will get mixed with soil .
I will again belong to the soil
Life and death is all in the circle
Death is a certain thing
And i welcome it
Waiting eagerly

Poha

Ingredients:
1. handful of fresh green peas and groundnut
2.Mustard seeds
3.Poha
4. One medium Size potato
5. One medium Size Onion
6. Two chillies
7. Coriander leaves
8.Turmeric
9.Salt to taste
10. Water
11. Oil
Procedure:
1. Fry the peas and groundnut and keep aside
2. Soak the poha (flatten rice) in water for sometime .Drain out the water and keep aside
3.Heat the oil
4. Put in the mustard seeds, followed by the finely chopped onion,chilly and potato
5. Fry them well
6. Add the poha and salt
7. Garnish with the Coriander leaves
8. Serve hot along with Tea!!

Rohun-Nga Thongba (Rohu Fish Curry)

Khamen-Kangkhou

Oty Asangba- My favorite Manipuri Dish ever!!

Serves: 2 persons

Ingredients:

1. Handful of Rice

2.Finely chopped Few garlic cloves and a peice of Ginger ,chilly

3. Spring onions

4. Lots of green leafy vegetables(Spinach used mostly here/spring onion/Green peas)

5. baking Soda

6.Oil

7.Salt

8.Coriander

Procedure:

1. Mix rice,pinch of baking soda and the green leafy vegetables and pressure cook them

2.Fry the spring onions,ginger ,Garlic and the chilly

3. The pressure-cooked mixture will be finely smashed

4. Add the mixture 

5.Add salt for taste and boil the misture

6. Add coriander and serve hot

Manipuri Dishes- Kangshoi

Nothing can beat a kangshoi when it comes to old time favorite food anytime of the year.
It's organic,It's simple and very healthy
Kangshoi was the only Dish Mom did cook for me to cheer me up when i was a little kid.
It's so plain simple that my siblings don't prefer it much but yes! it my fav unconditionally and unseasonably!!
Ingredient:
1. Fish sauce or Fermanted fish (Ngari)
2.Smoked fish
3. Lots of green vegetables like beans/peas/ and many other leafy ones like the mustard/spinach/cabbage.
4. Potato (optional). I say it optional as i often don't like to add them but the origin of the food name originated due to the potato only. Kang means Round. Shoi means to cut. The potatoes in this curry are cut in flat round shapes. Hence the food derive it's name. My dad told me that in Japanese Round shape is called Katachi . We derive the word "Kang" from "Katachi" . We are still the yellow asians though we are Indians now

5. Water
6. salt

Procedure:
1. Heat the water. I avoid putting oil as i prefer eating it this way. Other wise one can fry the onions and vegetables first.
2. When the water is warm, add the vegetables and the fermented as well as the smoked fishes
3. Bring them to boil well. Add the salt
4.Serve hot with white rice!!

Yummy!!

50/50 and Me

Watched 50/50 and watched Adam fighting against cancer. it's a marvelous movie and I can see a Malem struggling to survive in there. I will be adding more here.

Here I am as ,promised to myself , I'm  adding few more lines.
When Adam got the news of him having cancer, he got cut off from the world for few seconds..very me
He goes back to office and google about the disease..very me
He broked out the news to his hysterical mom..very my mom
He was on high when he got the chemo..the 120mg steriod a day did the same trick to me
Then frequent visits and his chemo mate died, he lost hope on life and was frustrated..the whole journey is not pleasant on me either. I often lost my cool.
Adam's girlfriend cheated on him when he need her most..so did that bastard and I burnt down the only card he mailed me on our 1st Anniversary.
Adam found a new love ..so did I
Adam survived the surgery..for me  my future is blank,not similar :(

For folks who don't know me, I am living with lupus . It has been hard on me.The initial days were worst. Accute Alopecia and arthritis tore me down completely but I am happy to have well-wishers for me and i survive through . I am hoping for a bright future ahead and I hope to conquer all obstacle. If not conquerable, atleast face them!!

For people who don't know what is lupus.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001471/
In simpler words, my immune -system has high libido and fucks anything!! :)