Okay to cry- J.Rice

This is one of my fav numbers:


I don't know where to go from here
Cos anywhere that I go you there
So many streets, different names, but they all lead to the same lonely pain
And I don't know how to start again
Don't even know when hurt began
Its when your this low everywhere you try to go looks like a dead end
And now that everything's over

I'll cry (if I still hurt)
I'll cry (cos after I feel better)
Its to hard to keep inside, cos all the emotion I feel tonight
I'll cry (if it gets worse)
I'll cry (cos that's the only answer)
Its so hard falling out of love 
Finding yourself after you break up
Its Okay To Cry

Felt like we were on a tight rope
I lost my balance when you let go
I'll get up again, I'll fall in love again, I gotta heal my soul
And when the past brings back the pain
Don't be afraid to face the rain
Cos it'll wash away, any trace of yours today, and you'll feel okay
But after everything's over
If I still hurt

I'll cry
I'll cry
Its to hard to keep inside, cos all the emotion I feel tonight
I'll cry (if it gets worse)
I'll cry (cos that's the only answer)
Its so hard falling out of love 
Finding yourself after you break up
Its Okay To Cry


A broken heart wont stop the world from spinning
A second chance will wait for you to start living again
I maybe down but I aint out forever
I'm holding on for something so much better
But if I ever hurt

I'll cry
I'll cry
Its to hard to keep inside, cos all the emotion I feel tonight
I'll cry
I'll cry
Its so hard falling out of love 
Finding yourself after you break up
Its Okay To Cry

A letter to my so-called well wishers

Dear W3,

[I have intentionally zeroed it down to W3 , because when i think of number and alphabets ie alphanumeric characters, i can think of scams/viruses and negativity like in 2G,HV1 etc; Well W3= worried well wishers; By the way give up on H1B visa.That's a dream never come true]

so, dear W3, first of all , thanks for screwing my life more than hell. I salute you all with my middle fingers.
Your acting surpassed any Oscar-winning actors. The impact on my life due to your "self-less advice" is tsunamic. I appreciate again for destroying my dreams and shattering my hopes into zillion pieces . You have succeeded in achieving your goals. I have finally given up after your traumatization  .You had a disturbed-unhappy childhood days , how could you see me happy? Congratulations on successfully brain-washing and puppetting  the old folks. Dumb as they are forever and now blind too. Their dumb mouths and gestures to enact your pinching and plotting . Life is short . Thanks for filling it up with shits. Will my death give you all fucking peace of mind?
Hope you get roasted like a dead pig in huge bonfire with the iron rod right through your asshole to the mouth, in hell. As you get barbecued over the hot charcoal , i will have a last laugh. Only then my soul will be freed. Until then my restless soul will cry , just as you have made me wreathed and rot so much in pain and shame.
If live cannot give what I deserve, I will get it out from death.

Sincerely,
A tortured soul

Once My Hero , now my sworn enemy

Age 1-12 (toddlers)
My dad my hero
My papa strongest

Age 13- 17(adolescents)
A boring dad , not like Rahul's papa

Age 18-25 (young adults)
The other end of the poles.
Intruding
opposing
never agreeing
Hitler
Never understanding

Age25-30
You never respect my decision
I have traveled around the world more than you
My life : so i live it. Live your own dreams

Age 30-40
You won't cross my path  and vice-versa

Age 40 -50
Old man thinks weird
Old man has lost his marbles

Age 60-infinity
My dad was good.

Something fishy about this!!!

The new addition: shy and shinny 

The eye-popping super active dear

My Blackys passed away!!

If I had a choice

If I were to die a death of my choice,what would it be?
Will I love seeing myself dangling from a ceiling fan,
Dressed neately in my favorite dress.
Will I have gasped for air as the rope takes away
All my pain, all my sorrows.
Had it been better to feed myself the vile.
And I will throw up before I die,
Crunching in unbearable pain but will that pain
be more than my griefs, my sorrow.
Running before a trolley or train , may cause
Other's death too,
I will wriggling lifelessly , with blood oozing out of me
washing away all the pain.
Perhaps, to be caught in a bomb blasts
would be the best,
I will be scatterred in peices and My body
Will get mixed with soil .
I will again belong to the soil
Life and death is all in the circle
Death is a certain thing
And i welcome it
Waiting eagerly

Poha

Ingredients:
1. handful of fresh green peas and groundnut
2.Mustard seeds
3.Poha
4. One medium Size potato
5. One medium Size Onion
6. Two chillies
7. Coriander leaves
8.Turmeric
9.Salt to taste
10. Water
11. Oil
Procedure:
1. Fry the peas and groundnut and keep aside
2. Soak the poha (flatten rice) in water for sometime .Drain out the water and keep aside
3.Heat the oil
4. Put in the mustard seeds, followed by the finely chopped onion,chilly and potato
5. Fry them well
6. Add the poha and salt
7. Garnish with the Coriander leaves
8. Serve hot along with Tea!!

Rohun-Nga Thongba (Rohu Fish Curry)

Khamen-Kangkhou

Oty Asangba- My favorite Manipuri Dish ever!!

Serves: 2 persons

Ingredients:

1. Handful of Rice

2.Finely chopped Few garlic cloves and a peice of Ginger ,chilly

3. Spring onions

4. Lots of green leafy vegetables(Spinach used mostly here/spring onion/Green peas)

5. baking Soda

6.Oil

7.Salt

8.Coriander

Procedure:

1. Mix rice,pinch of baking soda and the green leafy vegetables and pressure cook them

2.Fry the spring onions,ginger ,Garlic and the chilly

3. The pressure-cooked mixture will be finely smashed

4. Add the mixture 

5.Add salt for taste and boil the misture

6. Add coriander and serve hot

Manipuri Dishes- Kangshoi

Nothing can beat a kangshoi when it comes to old time favorite food anytime of the year.
It's organic,It's simple and very healthy
Kangshoi was the only Dish Mom did cook for me to cheer me up when i was a little kid.
It's so plain simple that my siblings don't prefer it much but yes! it my fav unconditionally and unseasonably!!
Ingredient:
1. Fish sauce or Fermanted fish (Ngari)
2.Smoked fish
3. Lots of green vegetables like beans/peas/ and many other leafy ones like the mustard/spinach/cabbage.
4. Potato (optional). I say it optional as i often don't like to add them but the origin of the food name originated due to the potato only. Kang means Round. Shoi means to cut. The potatoes in this curry are cut in flat round shapes. Hence the food derive it's name. My dad told me that in Japanese Round shape is called Katachi . We derive the word "Kang" from "Katachi" . We are still the yellow asians though we are Indians now

5. Water
6. salt

Procedure:
1. Heat the water. I avoid putting oil as i prefer eating it this way. Other wise one can fry the onions and vegetables first.
2. When the water is warm, add the vegetables and the fermented as well as the smoked fishes
3. Bring them to boil well. Add the salt
4.Serve hot with white rice!!

Yummy!!

50/50 and Me

Watched 50/50 and watched Adam fighting against cancer. it's a marvelous movie and I can see a Malem struggling to survive in there. I will be adding more here.

Here I am as ,promised to myself , I'm  adding few more lines.
When Adam got the news of him having cancer, he got cut off from the world for few seconds..very me
He goes back to office and google about the disease..very me
He broked out the news to his hysterical mom..very my mom
He was on high when he got the chemo..the 120mg steriod a day did the same trick to me
Then frequent visits and his chemo mate died, he lost hope on life and was frustrated..the whole journey is not pleasant on me either. I often lost my cool.
Adam's girlfriend cheated on him when he need her most..so did that bastard and I burnt down the only card he mailed me on our 1st Anniversary.
Adam found a new love ..so did I
Adam survived the surgery..for me  my future is blank,not similar :(

For folks who don't know me, I am living with lupus . It has been hard on me.The initial days were worst. Accute Alopecia and arthritis tore me down completely but I am happy to have well-wishers for me and i survive through . I am hoping for a bright future ahead and I hope to conquer all obstacle. If not conquerable, atleast face them!!

For people who don't know what is lupus.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001471/
In simpler words, my immune -system has high libido and fucks anything!! :)

My cell-phone Pouch

All right!! I got a cute kitty cell phone pouch from a flee market, though , it cost me a 100 bucks. I found it so cute and was unable to let it go off my sight. The vendor knowing this that he got an idiot customer, refused to change his quoted  price. Oh com'n don't tell me that prizes are fixed in flee markets.Anways, i have to pay him the hundred bucks but I am happy that I got it!! yippee!!

I went to the Abids'Big bazaar too to purchase some utensils, but end up buying clothes and accessories!! I am lady after all!! Clothes and trinkets make me happy!!

And I ran into my college junior too. I was her super-senior,feel good about that. This is what life is all about. We meet, we part and we meet again if fated!!

Cheers to life! Viva La vida!!

When a ME is born!

I as a being, I as me, I as a part of the Universe, never could live by my own rules or principles.
I could not be the lone rules-setters or be a self-wished upon action-doers. Like it or not, my action or decision has been influenced or has influenced people around me. I am not expressing here a desire to be the king of my own world. I am mere human. I need family. I need freind. I need love. I need company. I need to take and share. I need to love and hate. Things run in circles. I give . I take. I hurt. I love. I hate. I help. I yearn. I cry. Re-birth, i don't beleive in. I beleive in current life. But somehow, somewhere and sometime in all these circuits, a ME is form.


A daughter, a sister, a friend, a foe, an employee, a donor, a receiver, a lover, a victim, an attacker..the roles are varied. This could not be denied that each relationship has it's own set of expectation. I am neither complaining nor rejoicing. I feel unasnwered and a million questions in my mind.

I will definitely remember your Lane

No ,I am not being the psychic lover here or the heartbroken ditched souls!!
Neither I am talking about stalking some 6 feet in Reebok Jogging Pants in the early morning wee hours at the Joggers park nor digging my head into Shaadi.com site to get lifetime ATM..err I mean my soul-mate.I am talking here pure love ..love for food!! yes, Darlings ! I am foodie!! Nigella Lawson is my goddess!!Stop it right there boys.Dirty mind!
Back to why i mouthed the craps here..With the onset of winters, I am longing for some hot -pipping steaming yummy dumplings! And excuse me, I am not talking here about the big brothers such as Mainland China or Bowl of China where Squint-eyed people (the word is CHINKY..i said it , so what..keep it in your own pockets, such words neither rage me nor poke me) are hired as waiters to give the Chinese feel.Hello my dear hotel/restaurant owners, keep fantasizing (aha..aha..aaaa..)  with that Pamela Andreason 's poster in front of you. This is how you make me think about hiring Chinkies as waiters .Go to any Ching-chong-pong -pang restaurants and you can see us as the wannabees there, taking your orders in highly mother-tongued accented English. "You want dumplings, only steaming , not frying?". No NOM, it's to be taken as offence .. I meant it to offend MYSELF!!
God, I kept diverting off!! Focus dear, focus and no hocus-focus!! The best Chinese or tibetians food are found at the rehabs area( NOM seriously this time) where the real tibetians/ Nepalis cook mouth-water dim sum/momos/thupkas/noodles/fried rice. The food is rich in colors at it's virgin colors..green spring onions, red chilly, red tomatoes, pink meat, fresh corianders ..Heaven ..Heaven I swear!! No haldi please for Chinese Food. The kind of fried rice you are thinking, made by Telapati Ramananag Ranga Swamy or Babu Lal got haldi /curry patta and coconut scraps....you can keep the crap to yourself and I am not trying out your fried rice in Coconut oil at any cost!!

For serious Chinese food( for the cheap price also), i love and really missed Chandigarh sector 15 . Sector 7 panchkula road side make shift stalls offer far better dumplings than those by the big brothers. These are the lanes I was talking about.The hot -yummy momos paired with the chilly sauces!! aaahhhh!! I am seriously hungry now!!signing off!!

I am here

I am here again today!
I am not Alone,
A Thousand voices echoing Mine.
Against your inhumane act!!
How long can you play deaf?
I raise my hand again today!
Against your guns.
With a thousand hands rooting Mine!!
How long can you stay blind?
I rise back again today!
After every defeat;
Stronger everytime ,fighting back!
This is my victory.
A few handful everytime backing me,
I am the people .
The number will grow!!
How long can you defeat me?
I will light the dreams!
A lillte late it might come.
But the dawn is sure.
The sun will shine on my face again!
How long can you block the rays?
I can feel the change in the air!
I will stay strong!
I am here again today!

Dedicated to Irom Sharmila Chanu

We are back and we are hungry!!

Here is a tribute to the Living Legends of Roadside-Dhabbas Touring!! The very amiable Rocky-Mayur duo!
The quotes , the description and the mindless dropping by to the dhabbas to gluttonly savor the food..Epic Foodies...keep on making hungry and reminding that "we are here to eat only"!!

Expensive restaurants of the nawabs???..who can afford that??? India is a country with more than one billion population with a greater percentage of citizens are unemployed and under the line of poverty..but still everyone longs for a good and decent meals . The dhabbas boys are the saviors. I like the report card part where they rate the dhabbas.. The HOMP is a gateway for people who cannot really have time/money to eat out..It is a guide for foodies opting for reasonable prices...

When the dhabbas boys were denied permits to enter mainland Imphal , theyhave to humbly settle with a manipuri hotel in Nagaland. The video was totally mis-interpreted creating an image that Manipuris are rude. No, we are not. It's just that our hindi is not good, owing to the fact that Hindi is banned in Manipur.
And English was an alien -language to this people who runs roadside dhabbas in the ranges of Hills.
So , for Rocky and Mayur. I baked a typical manipuri dish "Paknam" and uploaded a pic.
Ingreidents : Besan(1 cup), Fresh Green chilly(2 nos), fresh Onion leaves(a handful), cumin seeds(one teaspoon), salt (pinch),water(half a cup).
Procedure:
The finely chopped green chiilies/onion leaves/zeera are stirred fried.
It is then mixed with besan(gram flour),a little water and salt, to make a paste.
Then neatly the paste is pour upon and folded with tumeric leaves.(The tumeric leaves give an aroma to the PAKNAM)
Pressure cook it (three whistles are just fine) then heat it on the pan(10 min)/microwave it for 5 min .
Serve Hot!!

:) 

Tring Tring

Roti , Kappra,Makahn aur Mobile Phone..The basic necessity of Every Human Being(I 'm not sure of the Zulu tribes)...a must have in everyone's pocket..Purse in case of Ladies in Sarees.

Be it early morning /mid-night or late evening, I can see People are never alone in my office. Please be noted that I work in shifts. People are always having a company on the phone..Ladies screaming at their boyfriends, Guys talibanizing their ladies, Singles like me catching up with friends and families..
everyone is busy and has companies..

I have been the proud owner of Five cell phones so far..the sixth one is coming in soon within a few days..College days..with lesser pocket money..Nokia 1100 was my only option..It survived all through my four years of Engineering days..it even went on to accompany me through my first few months of job. In between these, CMDA comes..a cheap china phone that gets heated with one min of call.. it was bought with the greed of saving few paise as Reliance CDMA to CDMA was free back then. Then i changed it with Samsung CDMA to save my ears...back to my NOkia1100..When I got my motoraola SLR..i gave away the Nokia phone to my friend whose Mom was in need of cell phone..I heard that it is still functioning fine.. The motorolla looks beautiful but the functionality was poor..
I am clumsy and prone to getting cell phones slipped off from my hand.The life span was short .And soon it got replaced by a Nokia X3. A slider..and it has the slider problem now..the connection got blew and the screen was blackout ..Luckily It was within the warrenty period and got it fixed..now the sound quality is poor..I am switching soon to BlackBerry Storm !!! exicting!!!

Losing Streak!!

When will my sun shine?

Drugs don't work

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-snOcN-nTKw&feature=related

Sigh!!

Wish Life could have either a rewind button or a fast forward button!!

The Best Friend Tag!!

This has been a recent craze. every one is doing the best friend tag in FB to You-Tube. I was going through the questions and since my best friend is in different location, I could not make the video but i would love to answer these questions about us and her esp!!

1. How and when did you meet? : In school .We have known each other for 10 years now. Thanks to Jianni(my benchmate) and Tutu (her benchmate) Who left KV and with no other options, we paired up!!This was the starting of a wonderful journey!!
2. What's your favorite memory together? She once went to Moreh and I missed her so much. When she re-joined school , i was so happy to see her that we ran and hug each other!! 
3. Describe each other in one word. Adventurous 
4. What's your dream job? Her Dream job will be something to do with travelling
5. What's your favorite makeup brand? Amway as of now
6. What is something that annoys you about the other person? Switches her job so often
7. If you could go anywhere in the world together, where would it be and why? Anywhere as long as we are together joining
8. Favorite inside joke? We used to give the boys in our class nick-names
9. Who takes longer to get ready in the morning? Both are super-quick
10. Favorite season? for her It might be winter
11. Favorite song? not sure
12. What is it like being best friends with someone who is obsessed with YouTube? m the one obsessed with u-tube!!The question will be for her!!
13. Heels or flats? Flats
14. Pants or dresses? Pants for her/ dress for me
15. Favorite animal? Deeli he he
16. If your house was burning down, and your entire family was sure to be okay, what would you save and why? The house!!
17. Comedy, horror, or chick-flick? comedy
18. Blackberry or iPhone? BB for her (may be)
19. Favorite movie? she is not a movie freak 
20. What is something weird that you eat? no clue.
21. Do you guys have anything matching? matching kurtis!!
22. What's your favorite TV show? no clue 

Pig face: beautiful me!!

It' s drizzling outside and the climate is dead romantic , but having nothing to do in hand . I was making faces and clicking self -pics. This is my fav one. I don't like kids by default. I remember monkeying  in a crowded bus once to scare a baby ,sitting in front of me and staring at me.I did the big-eyes Glare. Having failed to make him cry, I aped. finally triumph with my pig-face look!! Hurray!! a precious memory!! 

The school-drop outs: My pets!!

7 things I lied about Myself

Firstly, I don't understand the works of Paulo Coelho. I find them really boring and pretty outdated. But just because his novels always turn out to be the best sellers. I lied about liking his work and read them to appear superior over the lesser intellectual -neighbours.

Secondly, I hate wearing Kurtas. But I buy bunch of them ,now and then, just coz I'm an Indian!!I love my  western tops and dresses!!Please people don't stare me through my clothes whenever I don those gaudy dresses. It's revealing but I love them.

Thirdly, Though I have sweared that  I will slap a hateful person if ever I come across him in future for cheating on me. But I know I too were equally wrong. I become a slave of my temper. But I stand again as the victim as the person cheats anyway whatever maybe the causes. I am totally against infidelity!

Fourthly,I am not a good  engineer. I am fooling myself here. I want to learn pottery instead!!I love CURVES!! Somewhere, I wish I could learn it quick , because I have a long way to go!!

Fifthly, I should have been wiser in using the counts-format, What will I write the next count? Sixthly or sixly? seventh one will be great and heavenly by being Sevenly ..or will it be seventhly?? Dum-dee-dum dumb dumb ME!! The default -bullets could have given me the right shots!

Last-Butt-one (he he..I like the Butt here but seriously no butting around) , I am not liking Lady Gaga now a days!! I felt she i-tunized her music these days!I'm confessing here now.. So Lady Gaga ,please sing like before!! you don't have to stripe down into your skinny latex swim wear!! we love you still with clothes! NO MORE BEEF PLZZZZZZZZZZZ!!

Lastly, I lied about the seven things.. I have zillion things I have lied about!! he he..

PS: I decided to stop blogging for sometime!! My name is Malem and I am not lying here !

PS again: I hate Delhi Belly!! Over-rated!! I hate it Like I love it!!

PS again again: Nothing!! Have a good day!!And for the rest who are sleeping "Good Night" ..and for those who are .......have a great S<beeep>X!!! Shit!! I hate Delhi Belly ..no Beeping in there!!

Back to the Womb!

I walked alone as the dawn sets,

I heard nothing but the tinkling of my anklets.

When I curled myself to sleep
Late last night, I pray and weep
Hoping tomorrow will be a better new day.
And I’ll be never again in bay!

But it’s a false console.

The morning chill air passed through my camisole!

It pricks my face, a tear drop trickling down.
Nothing matters now, I’m on my own!!
My empty existence with a dark crater
Where my past decays wide in shatter!
I stood small facing the sunlight
A bright smile beamed at the sight!
I am coming back to the womb
To rest in peace in the tomb!!

When Love Leaves!!

He gazed amaze at her illuminated face;

She reciprocated with a coquettish glance!

Blushed and embarrassed to stare at his eyes,

A shy smile that seemed to say,

"Yes!".The fingers interlocked, the lips interlocked;

The heart-beats rocked!

Life, heavenly and magical, and in its full glory!

To be treasured as blissful allegory.

Time passed with the course marred!

Blooming love withered,
He sailed west! She went east!
Never ever to meet again;
Parted with a deep pain!
But it's hard to get over;
The phantom-syndrome never to recover!
He still feels her jasmine-scented tresses,
She misses his caring caresses!
It's so hard to erase the memories;
They parted not because they hate each other;

It’s because “Love has left them”!!

Until Death parts us

Standing by the pyre,she weeps.
Nothing but the memories ,she keeps!
In a matter of flashes,
All will be burnt to ashes!
The same fire God who witness,
Their Union will see her pangs of sadness.
With not a word utter,She glances at the face;
To treasure and frame it in her heart against time-pace!
Through thick and thin,she has been his better-half ;
Now no one will be there now but herself!
The deep breath and the final goodbyes,
she tells it all by her eyes!
The shoulder to lean over ,
In time of crises, no more life-saver!
The patient ears to all the talk
Will end up with this last walk!
Everything comes to an end,
It's the nature's law that will never bend!

Salary Day

Comrades!
Mark this day RED!
The vagueness will be gone.
The sighs will be silenced.
Bygones will be the forlorn looks!,
The never-ever-erasable lines on the foreheads,
Will be ironed out!
Trust me- My fellowmen!
This happiness is short-lived,
But party when the pocket is heavy!
Though the wait is long,
And it passes away quick!
With tortoise pace it comes,
But gallops away!
Remember...
When the darkness is at its peak ,
Sunshine is nearby!
The SALARY DAY is soon to come!!
Cheers!!!

Rebel in true sense

Be the rebel without a pause,
Who will fight for a cause!
You don’t have to follow,
The same path of Hollow!
When you sense it wrong,
Be against it standing strong!
The beautiful butterfly struggles out
From its cocoon; it’s not a simple bout!
Be the change, be the example;
This is all about living Life ample!!
Be the rebel without a pause,
Who will fight for a cause

Freaking Tired

There is always a bad phase in every body's life.
Even we have been seeing Akshay Kumar doing a series of flop movies. The story line has been week in most of the cases. Lisa Ray went through a bad hair days and blotted look days.
But people are still all praises for these individuals. But why in my case, when I could not crack any interviews, why I have been stereo type as the loser.!!

Mom, give me a break and stop comparing me for chirst sake with the neighbour kids!! Let me breathe!!

Tweets

Life is more than 140 characters..that's y we have blogs!!

this is frustrating

I have been sitting with the programming books around me for days and i hate it to the core . There should be definitely I am good at something. I am not into this S?W engineer things. this is not my identity and i must have def something better than this. There got to be something in which i can do with full free heart and with great contentment in doing that thing. I have tried on music but it's not so my area. I feel alienated, it 's def not dance. It's not culinary arts, it's not to do with paintings and brushes! Jesus, what could be that thing i could die for. Give myself 100% commitment. what could be that? this is killing me and I am hating these moments all the more. I hate doing 9-5 jobs. I like animals. Has it to do with animals,photography? what has it to be. Jesus!! save me from this restlessness!!!

To Sung Bong Choi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0n0vSAqdL0&feature=related


<<i don't own this video>>

With Love ,To Korea

The korean series watched so far by me:

1. Full house
2. Autumn in my heart
3. You are beautiful
4. Boys over flowers
5. Marry me Mary

List of movies:

1. Classic(favorite romantic movie)
2. My sassy girl(fav rom com)
3. The way home (very sweet one)
4. Project makeover
5. Lost and found
6. Wedding Dress
7. My girl and I
8. A millionaire 's first love
9. Please teach me English
10. My tutor Friend 1
11. Do re mi fa so lo do
12. Mr Housewife
13. Innocent snow
14. Innocent Steps
15. Little bride
16. Temptation of the wolf
17. He was cool
18. 100 days with Mr Arrogant
19. Seducing Mr Perfect
20. Changing Partners
21. 200 pound beauty
22. Beautiful
23. Wind struck
24. Unstoppable Marriage
25. Love me not
26. Moments to remember
27. Speedy Scandal
28. Too beautiful to lie
29. Two faces of my girlfriend
30. My wife is a gangster
31. My boyfriend is type B
32. Love so divine
33. Old Miss Diary
34. Sunflower
35. Now and forever
36. Oh! Happy Day
37. Baby and me
38. My tutor friend 2
39. The naughty granddaughter in law
40. 3 iron Part
41. The beast and the beauty

Perfect two!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyYsW5v9Quk&feature=related

<<I don't own this video>>

Hurts me a lot

Wound heals, do scars heal?
Your love has left a deep scar on me!
And it hurts me a lot.

Dreams shatters,do pain shatter?
You shatter my dreams!
And it hurts me a lot.

People moves on, do death move on?
You kill me the day you left me.
And it hurts me a lot.

The world is crowded,yet why I feel so lonely?
This loneliness is my company.
And it hurts me a lot.

The pain endures,
And now I am drown in my own tears ;
Why can i just let it go?
Coz it hurts me a lot!

Fool in love

DECLARATION: random thoughts..not related with my life

Nobody can replace you in my heart! You have been my first and only love. My day starts off praying that you will be fine today and ends with a prayer for you again . The dreams are all about us. The walks we shared, the holding hands and the peck of kiss ! Love you.

Even though you have left me for another girl and with million unanswered questions of mine, I do hope somewhere in the corner of your heart, I will be clinging on to you.Sometimes, I tired myself questioning where have I gone wrong that you have betrayed me. Was she prettier, richer and make you happier? Introspection is never ending, but I do hope when we ever come across in life, please don't turn away.

No matter how much the sunlight will blind me, I will look for you;
No matter how much the smoke will tear my eyes, I will gaze at you.
No matter how much foggy will it be, I will find you.
Though I have no rights now to lean against your shoulders,
I can lean on these moments when I am alone;
Though I could not hold those hands in mine,
I will hold tight the memories.
Though I appear happy to the world,
I know what pain I am carrying in my heart.
I know I have lost a part of me.
I can't blame you.
I am fool in love!

Why does it hurt so much??

I have loved this man so much that for days and even now, i could not cease to think about him.Quite a surreal, but I do pray that I get him back again. I wish he will love me again. It's hard, when all your efforts go waste and nothing seems possible.But it's never wrong to keep hoping. Some said that hope is for the weak.Maybe I am weak. But I need this hope to make me survive. The madness at it's height..i googled his name hoping to see his pictures online. I am successful though, I hope he comes to know how much I love him.

I should have done that
I should have ignored it
Like something I couldn’t see
I shouldn’t look at you at all

I should have run away
I should have acted like I didn’t hear it
Like something I couldn’t hear
I shouldn’t have listened to love at all

Without a word, you let me know love
Without a word, you give me love
You made me even hold of your breath but you ran away like this
Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love tossed me away

What should I say next?
My closed lips were surprised on their own
Coming without any words
Why does it hurt so much?

Why does it hurt continuously?
Except for the fact that I can’t see you anymore
And that you are not here anymore
Otherwise, it’s the same as before

Without a word, you let me know love
Without a word, you give me love
You made me even hold of your breath but you ran away like this

Without a word, love leaves me
Without a word, love tossed me away
What should I say next?
My closed lips were surprised on their own

Without a word, tears fall
Without a word, my heart breaks down
Without a word, I waited for love
Without a word, love hurts me

I zone out
I become a fool because I cry looking at the sky
Without a word, fire will find me
Without a word, the end comes to me

I think my heart was surprise to send you away without any preparations
It came without a word
Without a word, it comes and leavesLike the fever before, maybe all I need to do is hurt for a while

I love you!

Please mend my heart!!

Moments of Malem (MOM)

On a week long off

I definitely need to rewind and get recoiled doing nothing!!ahhh! bliss. Slipped into my new night dress and sleep for hours, not bothering how the world is running around for daily bread.yawns! still so sleepy!!m off to sleep again.

Hate !

I hate the way you smile
I hate the way you look at me
I hate those cute eyes
I hate the way you walk
I hate the way you hold my hands
I hate thinking of You
I hate missing you
I hate crying for you
I hate the pain I hide
I hate those sleepless nights
I hate those moments I could not reach out to You
But the truth is I still love you so much!!

Of Brigade Roads and Hawaichar chagem pomba!!

Back again here in Hyd.Safely but sadly. my stay in Banglore happens to be Great!!
The three years drought of having not tasted hawai char chagempombe ended with Jianni cooking a simply superb one.
Did good shopping , loitered around Brigade road and spent fun hours with Priya.
Annie, Bijiya and Sandhya added happiness to my stay!!
Special thanks to Jianni for showing me Jang Guen Suk serials!!
Saranghe Oppa and Khamsamida to all u girls u made my weekend a memorable one!!

Cleaning my Boudoir!!

Aaah!! comes weekend and back to a maid's job!! Cleaned My dressing table (boudoir) and what a relief to throw away unused creams lying in the corner for months! Wish we can clean up our memories, throw away all the sad ones and keep behind only the happy ones!!

My precious!!

Source: Jang Guen Suk 's Marry me mary

(^.^)

Shy pervading while whispering in your ear

Our story is covered by mystery

Feels happy when we Looked at each other,

Oh look how pretty foolish it is.

While we Gently walking at the alley

the gap like a sip of illuminated by sunlight coming through

I could not even know what it is

You instill in my little dream

My Precious(My Precious)

My Precious(My Precious)

It Was like going to memories

a warm feeling

i dont want to Disappear without a trace

My Precious (My Precious)

My Precious (My Precious)

Cherish even a small step forward

This excitement

that we will cherish as

Glorious in the wind passing over the collar

Your eyes, our hands together

The days of just pure sales work

Handed over while my heart comes

I was desperate and lost hope of an exceptionally

Broken sentences are still reminiscence turns

Were likely to be left alone

Did you hold on tight to my hands

My Precious (My Precious)

My Precious (My Precious)

Seemed my heart keeps beating

Silence gave your hand to me

My Precious (My Precious)

My Precious (My Precious)

If only you can passed by what ever it is

Can make it just like

This excitement

My Precious (My Precious)

Warmer than the sun

My Precious (My Precious)

More than any brilliant gem

Seemed my heart keeps beating

Silence gave your hand to me

My Precious (My Precious)

Which is cleaner than the sky

My Precious (My Precious)

More transparent, than some glass

If only you can passed by what ever it is

Can make it just like

This excitement

My Precious ..

When the hunger strikes

God! please do forgive me for my insensible thoughts. I bestow all the love the food deserved. No longer I will discriminate the organic pop-corns and non-organic whenever I munch them down watching movie. No longer the guilt sweet food eaten shy away after a meal . No longer the soul-food to beat stress after a heart break!! I swear ,by Jove , I will give as much respect to food as they deserved.
My plate will be always filled what I should eat and not only just the leafy green salad. I'll stop being concious and dig myself into food!! Yes ! I am a foodie . No doubt in that!!

A pair of boots!!

A pair of kinky boots was all I wanted .To mark the new beginning and phase, I got what i longed for. The reactions were numerous. I am not against the reaction as it is by human beings' instinct to criticize what is different from our own views. Of course my best friends and sister love it while my conservative colleagues have some negative reaction . But for me, it's a add-on to my collection of food wares. Without any doubts, I admit I have a craze for foot-wares.  When I were in Chandigrh,  I ended up owning a humble 22 pairs , of which I have to part some of the pairs due to overload while shifting to Hyd.A habit never dies. I'm back on bang shopping shoes !!I breathe bliss !! 

The other man in my life

He is a big man now. No more tantrums and fights, the kicking and punching days are over. The frenzy siblings rivalry is no more. Maybe the stay away from home and having not so much of my family around me ended up in this.Through some emotional crisis of mine, my brother stood for me . I have a confession to make here. I sought advice from my little bro who is 7 years younger than me. I am really pleasantly surprised to see him grown. The other man in my life ..my little bro.Of course , my dad occupies a big place in my life and I look up at him with so much respect, but with Bro, we are almost like friends now. Love you bro!!

Of pop-corn and siblings Outings!!

Never ever thought that one day we had to PLAN to catch up and spend time together. From shoving off my sister to the corner, so that I can get a larger portion of the bed to dividing the gems bond (candy) so that we got the exact same counts..gone are those days. Now that she is married and the same openness can no longer be expected from her. Me, bro and sis decided to go out for a movie together. The punctual me hits GVK mall sharp at 2 PM as decided. They turned up late as usual. This is to be noted that we caught up the other day too, I came in time that day too, I sat for some 45 min at the entrance bench, counting the people coming in and out of the mall and judging people's fashion. when the count reached 50 , i stopped.It was getting bored. That was at the Inorbit Mall 24th June 2011.

Yesterday, I was admiring the lively crowd , until the late-comers showed up with a story that they were taken to another mall by the Auto walla, I believed them coz I too have been victimizied similarly. The fun sets off then , a few photo session round. A coffee together at the CCD ,followed by the pop-corns during the movie and then a tuna-honey-mutli grain Sandwich at the subway filled the hungry tummies. But the hunger to spend more time together could never be satisfied. We wind up and called it a day and left for respective destination, Bro to Col, me to my home and sis to her home. But we did had a great time! Love you guys!!
@ Bro: good emo-blackmailing. hope u like the watch!!

Though I am HURT

I am not angry at you,

You taught me to love!

I never hate you,

You showed me what dreams are all about!

Though I'm hurt;

No grudges , no regrets!!

With time, it may fade,

With time, I may heal;

But I'll never let go off our heavenly days.

Bittersweet maybe, they are still my memories!

Each woven with love by you and me!

Though I 'm hurt;

No grudges, no regrets!!

Getting drenched in rain was never beautiful until I met you,

The same rain pricks my heart now !

The red roses bloomed deep-red when you gave them to me,

Now my heart bleeds redder than the roses;

And the pain is deeper than ever!

Though I'm hurt;

No grudges ,no regrets !

I am not over it yet,

Though It's all over between you and me!

I may have been mad at your ways.

But your presence was the reason,

For me to brush off all worries;

No matter how hard my days have been!

Though I'm hurt;

No grudges,no regrets!!

I will miss you!

I pray life will be always kind to you!

If we ever come across again,

Please smile at me!

It will lighten up the moment for me.

Though I 'm hurt;

No grudges , no regrets!!

The Place To Be

When in blues or in cloud 9;

When I want to express myself,

To the deep core or the endless vastness of the sky!

The place to be is here !!

Where I can threw up all my frustration

to no limitation!

Or drain out my sorrow,

When my heart is at shallow!

The place to be is here!!

In extreme bliss

Where I beam like the rainbow!

Right after the gleeful show

The place to be is here!!

Writing out is the best way to define me

And I won't stop till I die!

Yes! the place to be is the writing pad!!

On my feet again

A dried rose is all I have now!
A prize possession ,i am quite obsessed with somehow!!

I tried to hate you and never forgive!
But it's hitting back that it's hard to survive!!

I am no saint ,I have disappointed you at times!
But what should I called your act: CRIMES!!

Offering you forgiveness and an extra dollop of love!
Toppled with a Big cherry of good luck,By Jove!!

It's about moving ahead!
Guaranteed that you will be shocked dead!!

But it's true honey, I am on my feet !!
Forget about thinking me crying among the sheet!!

Nobody's perfect and you are forgiven!
I'll look down on you in hell,from heaven!!